Motherhood Merry-Go-Round

Remember the last time you rode a Merry-go-Round? For me it was last Christmas with my family in South Carolina. It was cold. Not Wyoming cold, but to the bone cold that is brought on by moisture in the air. My 18 month old daughter stayed back at my parents house with my husband and I had my 6 year old son and my 4 year old daughter. My son was super excited to ride, but my daughter was very nervous. As a stroke of genius the ticket prices were set up in a way that an adult could ride for free with a child under a certain age, so I was able to hop on with my little girl and help her have this awesome experience. My parents, or Grand-poppa and Grammy, stood at the gate and watched us go around and around. Every time we passed them my now practically fearless daughter cried out, “There’s Grammy!” “There’s Grand-poppa!” I’m not sure if she even noticed the other scenery we passed multiple times.

I’m sure every mom knows that there are many phases of motherhood. We go through them all multiple times like riding around on a Merry-Go-Round, but, sometimes, I forget to notice more than one. Right now, I’m in an exhaustion phase. With lack of sleep from nursing a 1month old and a busy schedule during the day, I could easily fall into the trap of thinking this is all there is for me. I made the crazy decision to go for a fourth child and now this is my life.

But hold on a minute! In just this short month, I’ve ridden the Motherhood Merry-go-round through other stages too.

Excitement of holding a new life in my hands, Anxiety of whether or not I’m capable of taking care of this new life, Exhaustion from figuring out the routine of nursing.

Excitement of introducing Asher to his older siblings, Anxiety over whether they’ll love him and not feel cheated of love and attention, Exhaustion from now having 5 “love tanks” to fill every day.

Excitement, Anxiety, Exhaustion…I’m sure there are more phases, smaller ones I missed noticing or grander all encompassing ones I haven’t paid attention to while I focused on the small things. The thing I have to remind myself is to remember the next phase is coming. Life doesn’t stand still! All that is happening right now is preparing you for the next thing.

If all you pay attention to is one phase as it comes around you’ll miss out on all the others.

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