For the last 7 and a half years of my life, I have been in a phase. This phase I’ll just call “BabyMaking.” I’m sure you understand.
This phase is full of pregnancy tests, birth control debates, nursing, sleepless nights, car seats, ‘are we ready to have another one?,’ potty training, infant tylenols, vaccinations vs no vaccinations, well baby visits, the list goes on and on. I’ve peed in a cup so many times I can’t even tell you.
I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my fourth, so, obviously, I’m not actually near the end of this phase, but I’m closer than I have ever been.
My husband and I have reached the decision that this will be our last baby.
It was a tough decision. I think for some it is tougher, for some they didn’t get to make the decision, it was simply forced on them. My point is, choosing to not have a baby is just as big of a deal as choosing to have a baby.
We seem to judge couples who hold off having children or choose not to have children. I’ve heard people say it’s selfish to not have kids. I completely disagree!
Being a parent changes you, and not everyone makes that change. That’s why so many children are aborted, abandoned, or placed in foster care. So if someone decides they’re family is complete with just them and their spouse, respect their decision. When a mom tells you they’ve decided they’re not having any more children, don’t reply with, “Well, you never know what the future holds.” Have people had surprise babies after they thought they were finished? Yes! But you don’t have to wish that on somone. And coming to the decision to not have another baby is not an easy one. Don’t shower doubt all over a carefully thought out, emotionally wrought decision. Don’t bring up all the people who wish they could’ve had more children and make them feel guilty for not having more.
Instead let’s celebrate with them the new phase of life!! Throw them a “NO More Babies Shower!” Fill it with gifts and laughter about all the things they can do now that they know they’ll never be pregnant or nursing again. Make a ceremony of throwing out all the infant Tylenol and diapers!!! Its a big deal! Just as big as adding another person to the world!
We celebrate pregnancy and pregnant women, which is great! What a miraculous thing to carry a human inside of you until they’re ready for the outside world!
Let’s not forget to keep on celebrating the next 18 years of being a mom!!