After my first baby I had an elongated case of postpartum depression. It lasted for 11 months.
While clinical depression is mostly a chemical imbalance, I believe circumstances surrounding my beautiful boy’s birth contributed to starting the imbalance and going back on hormonal birth control right away (due to my fear of becoming pregnant again) only made it worse and harder to recover from.
The “whys” of it all I might go into some other time, but this post I just want to reach out to anyone else struggling. I knew something was wrong! I could tell I wasn’t myself! I’m normally a very social person and I found myself dreading going to a close friend’s New Year’s Eve party.
Yet, I waited to tell my doctor until my son was 3 months old. I told one friend and received a very negative reaction. I was terrified to tell anyone else, until, Praise the Lord, I casually mentioned it to my Sister-in-Law who was extremely supportive!
I just read an article about baby blues that mentioned having a mantra to help yourself through and focus your mind. That one piece of advice brought back all the memories!
My mantra was a song I heard on a TED talk. The words went like this “Hey, you’re okay…you’re just fine…just breath!”
I would sing it as I rocked my crying baby. I would sing it in the shower when the emotions I felt were as overwhelming as the water shooting out of the faucet.
I don’t want to make this about me. I want to shout out to anyone struggling with depression or anxiety, and say “Hey, you’re okay…you’re just fine…just breath!” And if you need someone to talk to with no judgment attached, please reach out! To me, to a friend, to a relative…sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than someone who knows you.
I tried therapy, I tried drugs, but the two things that helped me the most was an amazing woman who lives over 1,000 miles away and a borrowed TED talk anxiety song.
Don’t give up!